Sweetening the Pirate Booty

14 thoughts on “Sweetening the Pirate Booty”

1. Damn! Very generous!

   I'll post a link to your post later today!

2. The Mad Priest of Shebaba, and his vessel, the sepulcher of Shebaba.

   The mad priest was once a totally sane priest of another religion entirely, until Shebaba washed ashore, a sea monster of sorts which happened to look an awful lot like the creature of his most recent nightmares. The priest (once named Ulful, now simply known as the mad priest) became obsessed with the rotting mass he'd dubbed a she.

   As his mental illness took hold, and he was being held in his quarters, the subjects of his abandoned parish made plans to cast Shebaba into the sea. Driven mad with what he calls "The essential cleansing of soul and sanity" Ulful had the strength of a hundred men, and earned his new name slaying the majority of his former flock. Enslaved by The Mad Priest the people of the small port city built a craft of strong wood and stronger sea monster bones and ichor and took to the sea with their subjugator/church father, riding the very mausoleum of their goddess.

   The Sepulchre of Shebaba sets to port often, she is given wide berth by other vessels, and the port villages and cities seal their doors so as not to be taken to crew the vessel. The vessel is crewed by the enslaved, the mad, or the half demon spawn of those creatures the Priest summons to breed with the insane and the slaves.

   The Mad Priest is a 8th level chaotic cleric, Shebaba is dead but her Ichor seems to have the stuff of sapience infused into its essence and her torment bleeds through into the psychic plane, leading to madness if a daily save against her forces isn't made successfully.

   … No time to state any of it up.

3. The black ship Indomitable and her captain, the feared Commodore, have plied the Five Seas for plunder for as long as anyone can remember – and that has always been true.

   The ship itself is a wonder – black as pitch, sails of silver, a fearsome banshee as it's figurehead, hull seemingly made of iron. Any drunk will tell you the oarmen are half-ogres, the navigator a soothsayer, and the helmsman a madman. It achieves impossible speeds against the wind, and practically flies when running.

   It's said in every port and naval officer's mess that the Commodore serves as captain of the impressive galleon for a period of ten years, and after which point the next captain is elected from the crew, and the now retired Commodore is set off with a retirement fund drawn from the communal treasure stash of the ship, hidden somewhere amid the Lost Isles. (or was it the Dragon's Teeth? It's impossible to say – ask 5 times and you'll get 8 answers.)

   Innumerable young men have taken up with the crew during their layovers, drawn by legend, the promise of wealth, and perhaps the greatest prize of all – to become the Commodore.

   —

   This is all, unfortunately, wrong. Once, the coastal nations banded together, and floated an armada of 75 warships, and took on the Indomitable, and sank it, at a horrible cost in ships and men.

   It returned the next spring.

   There is a ship; there is a crew – they take shore leave, and drink and fight and whore. They loot any fat scow or hard-running sloop they sight. Boys of every stripe are gone forever the morning they sail out, off to adventure. There has always been an Indomitable, and always a Commodore at her wheel. It is all real.

   They all – the ship, her captain, the crew – are cursed. From whence it came may be unknown – but there is no doubt it is deserved.

   The first Commodore, countless years ago, was a fearsome pirate, his crew the thing of legend, and his ship, Indomitable, sailed free across the Five Seas robbing the wealth of nations. Their names now lost to history, they are only the Commodore, the Mate, the Chirurgeon, the Bosun, and many others, all men playing parts that have existed for hundreds of years. Joining the crew of the Indomitable is akin to accepting the curse yourself, though you won't know it, not at first; and no crewmember speaks of it, no matter their time served. After your first boarding, when you've witnessed the carnage that gives the crew it's fearsome reputation, when you've participated, reveled, even instigated the acts that make the Indomitable the stuff of legend, well, then you're in on it, mate.

   You'll realize the Navigator is never lost. You'll marvel at how the Chirurgeon can bring back crewmen from wounds gauranteed fatal, how the Crow sights the smallest ships with his eagle eyes. Awestruck by the swordplay of the Mate, you'll attempt to emulate his ferocity. Seasons pass into years without your notice, and soon the ship and her crew, the blood and gold, is all you know. One day you'll be the Mate, or the Quartermaster, or even the Commodore, and it will have always been so – there was never another.

   (two parts, too long for the blog)

4. (part 2)
   —

   There is an old man at a disreputable tavern, as far from the shore or navigable water as one can get, who has a story of the Indomitable. A story of murder and treasure and countless years of horror. He'll tell you his tale for a night's worth of drinks. 163 years ago, he'll say, he joined the Indomitable find the gold to pay a debt, and was the Crow, in the nest, sighting ships and shore. He'll tell you tales of plunder, of riches trickling through his fingers without a thought of the future, of shores you'll never see. And, as the night wears on, he'll pause, and begin a whispered tale.

   He'll tell you how he met himself, or a man that looked just like him, in a northeast port. The man shared his name, and knew his wife – that man was his own son, grown. He'd been gone for 30 years, and never knew it. It took him a long time to internalize that, the curse fought his memories and his will. But it stuck, and many decades later, the Crow decided to save a young boy he found cowered under a hammock in some nameless ship they'd just boarded, when perhaps just a day before he'd have killed the child without pause. The Crow and the boy jumped overboard, and were rescued later by a passing warship, tracking the Indomitable.

   The old man will tap his temple, and lean in, and whisper – "That's the secret of the curse. It wants you to kill and sin, it wants to keep you onboard, furtherin' it's own existence, it's purpose. But it can't use you if you've figured up it's game, and stopped playin' by it's rules. I dinna know where it began, all I know is it's gone on too long, lived too long, drank too much blood, and inn't some scrag witch's hex anymore. It's alive now, and immortal. And now, even if you know, if you join, oh, it'll make you forget, it'll make you Commodore if you never remember!" He'll lay back on his bench, and close his eyes. "I hann't touched free-running water since. I did, once, stood with my toes in a creek on a hot summer day. I heard the Mate's whistle, calling me to quarters. I tasted blood, and reached for a sword I no longer had." He'll open one eye, glance at his drink, decide he's had enough, and mutter: "Off with ye, then, and I thank you for my dinner. And do yourself a favor, and stay off that black ship. The only treasure you'll get away with is your soul, and then only if yer lucky. And I ain't dead yet, so's I'm not quite sure I've got mine!"

5. Copied from Tenkar's:
   Twin Cpts Took and Kil run the Muscullum.

   Took and Kil are short, squat, crazy.

   Took is half-Aboleth and his squid head and the vestigial tentacles that rim his neck are kept moist by being crammed into a jar. He can barely see out, his squid head keeps soiling the tank. Underwater, he can dominate as an Aboleth, 10' radius. He is a lvl 6 Fighter.

   Kil is covered in crawling tattoos. Once a day he can flex his back muscles such that the tattoos of his back align to form gate-glyphs, and out pops less demons of the far deeps (cthonic tentacle daughters, higher priestesses of Ur-Amonon, the enormous, soft, weak bodies of the beautiful/horrendous Deep Sisters). Kil regenerates a hit die in salt water. He is a level 8 Fighter.

   Both use whalebone trenchers as shields and fight with an array of harpoons, hatchets and throwing knives.

   Both are envoys of the Deep Sisters, minor deities of the far deep and allies of Rak, god of storms, sea monsters, erosion and floods.

   The Muscullum is the rotten mucky cartilaginous body of a half-living Ancient Deep Sister, her slowly blinking eye staring deep into the sea below and her tails and hundreds of hands propelling the ship along. The brothers have had their mongrelmen crew carve out her back and much of the crew housing is pitched along her spine.

   The Deep Sister gave her life for the Captains, to serve as their ship. They've tapped her spine and brain and use a calliope to send signals along her skull, imitating deep-song and thus directing her.

   The gasses of her gut power the calliope and can be expelled to boil the waters around the Muscullum.

   The Muscullum swims from port to port, its coming foretold by aberrant weather patterns, deep-sea creatures leaping, squirming and clacking for joy from the shallows, and the bone-trembling tones of the calliope. When the Muscullum arrives, she quivers in delight as the crew disembarks and systematically captures and enslaves the inhabitants of the port, each forced to eat of the Deep Sister's flesh, each bite either killing the consumer or turning them more into a mongrelman. If the port puts up resistance, Took and Kil will sally out in night time raids to capture the locals and "covnert" them to their religion. The Muscullum can crawl and flop out onto land for a short period of time, though doing so makes the Deep Sister feel horribly unpleasant.

6. Reposting my entry from Tenkar's. I actually proof-read it this tim.

   Captain Marcus "Murder" Blodstrang is a pirate, a dwarf, and a villain through-and-through. They say that he only pretends to be insane in order to maintain his fearsome reputation, but I say only a madman would lead a boarding party in full plate.

   There are many who would love to give Ol' Murder a shove from the gunwhale–if ever fell into the brine with that heavy armor he'd sink faster than a damned soul. But Ol' Murder is clever. He's decked his armor out with half of his plunder. There's a king's fortune of gold and rubies affixed to his plate in all manner o' fearsome designs. But underneath all that foppish baubles is some of the finest dwarven metal in the world, and Ol' Murder is just about invincible in the thing. No one's dared push him in the water. I venture to say that if he ever fell overboard during a boarding maneuver, the crews of both ships would jump in to fish him out.

   He is the leader of a bloodthirsty crew of dwarves, whose hair is as fiery as their eyes. Most of them hail from the dwarven city called the Fortress of the Iron God, known for its deep harbor and proximity to a volcano. Captain Murder's armor was forged by magma, that much is certain.

   His ship is called the Adamantine Ogre, and bless my soul if it isn't the slowest and the ugliest thing on the ocean. It's been repaired countless times in countless ways that it looks a big mash of metal and wood, like three sloops fighting over a scrapyard. The bow is a grinning ogre's face, whose rusty teeth plow the surf. It is a full dreadnought, with perhaps more firepower than anything else on the ocean. Other ships can catch it, but they have a hell of a time sinking it. Fort artillery is just about the only thing that gives the Ogre pause.

   The Ogre has a trick, and it's such a nasty trick that you'll spit when you hear it. You see, the ship has got two paddle-wheels, one on each side. Ol' Murder just has to get his ship out into the doldrums where the wind don't blow, set his paddle-wheels a-spinning, and he can chuff of into the horizon while his pursuers shake their sails with rage. I suppose he's got an engine in the thing, given the way black smoke boils out the back of it. Like I said, a madman.

   If you ever see the rusty grin of the Ogre come boiling along portside on a windless day, best be quick about sounding the alarm. And if you ever get the chance to kick that thrice-damned dwarf into the brine, damn the gold and do it! Give back to the ocean what was taken by Murder.

7. Gnomish Captain Bhoutros Winslow and his gnomish crew operate the Gimballed Pecker, the proportionally gnomish sized Caravel.
   Winslow and his crew have managed to capture and bind to his will a Dertesha below deck. They consequently have the ability to summon and powerful tentacles that burst from the hatches to do their bidding.
   Bhoutros Winslow’s daughter was captured by feral tropical halflings in the jungles of the southern continent, and he has taken to piracy in order to capture larger, fancier females to barter for his daughter’s freedom.
   They are motivated, but they are gnomes. Gnomes+Ocean=Dancing+Vomit. They have had difficulty keeping desirably sized captives secure on deck once the Dertesha’s paralytic wears off and the super-sized she-captive begins to hallucinate.

8. Periago Pegfoot, captain of the Jolly Minotaur, is in every way a stereotypical halfling – outgoing and friendly, seldom seen without a pipe or a drink, and seemingly a better fit for a rural tavern than the deck of a pirate ship. Nonetheless, his diminutive stature and cheery demeanor mask a keen tactical mind and a love of treasure that rivals any dwarf's (though he's probably more willing to plunder fine wine than gold!).

   That's not to say Captain Pegfoot's particularly bloodthirsty, though – indeed, he's well known across the temperate shipping lanes for his courtesy, and they say that he knows the language of every nation on either side of the Great Ocean, and has negotiated surrendered cargoes in each of them. Should battle be required, he favors standing off and peppering the enemy with crossbow bolts – losing half of his left foot has dampened his enthusiasm for swordplay. Still, Periago's gathered a skilled crew, and most merchantmen confronted with his black-on-red bull's head banner heave to rather than resist – just the way he likes it.

   Periago Pegfoot, Neutral Halfling Thief 10

   STR 9
   DEX 10
   CON 12
   INT 18
   WIS 4
   CHA 9

   HP 27
   AC 7[12]

9. Bagrat the Twice Cursed, captain of the Bloodshed.
   The name of Bagrat the Half-Orc was once feared by both merchants and the royal navy. This fierce hammerhead wereshark plundered the seas with a bloodthirsty crew composed entirely of orcs and sea trolls.
   No ship seemed to be able to escape once Bagrat had set his eyes upon it. Spotting the blood red sails of his galleon was deemed to be a sentence to death, since they said that Bagrat and his crew used to eat their prisoners alive.
   Then, a bunch of brave (or probably insane) bounty hunters managed to sneak upon the pirate captain and killed him in his sleep, putting an end to his reign of terror.
   Until a mad priest of Orcus decided that raising him and his crew as undead minions sounded like a good idea. Unfortunately for him, he understimated Bagrat bloodthirst and willpower.
   As soon as he raised from his grave, the wershark bit the priest's head off with a single bite of his mighty jaws, and then proceeded to devour the rest of his body.
   Now Bagrat haunts the seas again, driven by an insatiable hunger for blood.

   Bagrat, Vampiric Wereshark
   Armor Class: 2 [17]
   Hit Dice: 9 (54hp)
   Attacks: Bite (2d6 + level drain)
   Saving Trow: 6
   Special: Fear
   Move: 12 (18 swim)
   Challenge Lvl/XP: 12/2000

   Bagrat transformation into an undead stuck him in his half-human, half-shark form. Unlike normal lycanthropes or vampires, he cannot change shape at will, but will turn into a pool of blood-red liquid when "killed", returning to his cabin as a vampire would return to his coffin.
   He regenerates 3hp/rnd and his bite drains 2 levels. A character looking into his eyes must pass a ST at -2 or be paralyzed by fear for 1d4 turns.
   Bagrat is immune to normal weapons and can be killed only by sunlight or by driving a silver spike into his heart. Running water doesn't harm him, but he will die if he sets foot on dry land.

10. Koba, 3rd lvl Assassin, lame left arm/no two handed weapons

    Anneta, Patsia and Alexandra, 2nd lvl Fighters, never fail moral test within site of Koba

    Small Ship, Katarina/Corsario

    Koba, born the beaten child of a cobbler did not take initially to sea. Not even when he escaped the rounding up of all the local youths to be press ganged into the King's Navy. No, that act sent him onto a different path, one of highway robbery and mercantile thievery. These were not wild acts of a selfish man though, these were acts of appropriation for the furtherance of a noble cause, the destruction of the notion of Divine Right of Kings. He was a man of the people, stealing ill-gotten gains from exploitive businesses and agents of the crown and turning those funds against their former masters; all the while concealing his identity at every turn.

    It is said that amongst the core of his operations they were so poor that some could never rise from bed as they did not have enough pants between the all of them; so how he came about a small mercantile ship is a mystery. Officially her papers name her the Katarina; but to her crew she was the Cosario. Koba had no grand plans for the ship, from the start she was a means to escape is land bound enemies so that he might pursue his quest in a different manner. To start there wasn't much piracy, instead he smuggled the goods stolen by other compatriots.

    This was not enough for him though and he brooded on it for quite some length of time when it came to his ear that the King was commissioning merchant ships into military ones to bolster his fleet in a time of war. While the Katarina was no great warship she was large and sturdy enough for the task. Utilising forged documents a forecastle was added from which a group of archers could rain fire down upon the enemey as well as netting to prevent boarding. All of this, along with the stocking of weapons was done at the expense of the crown.

    As to be expected, Koba departed from the fleet with his newly armed ship and began marauding the coastline. Raiding land and sea, posing as a patrol ship or pirate hunter. Always delivering his cargo to the revolutionaries.

    Now Koba is a relative master of disguise; often going by many different names and entire persona, it is rumoured that one even draws a pension from the King's Navy. Though to those that know him, whether friend or foe, they can spot the disability in his left arm which prevents him from using two handed weapons. He can also be found with a trio of died in the wool mad women, Anneta, Patsia and Alexandra. They are loyal to the grave and violent enough to bring any man, woman to death's door step.

11. Along the shipwrecked shores of the Razor Coast
    Sails the Bloody Haar and her dread captain
    Under red-dark skies and Pele’s eyes
    Sails the Bloody Haar and her dread captain

    For he’s faced the worst the waves can bring
    Wreck and ruin and hurricane
    Pitch black flag and scarlet sails
    Sink their hearts and lips a’ wail

    With orkish blood and a pirates ire
    Sails the Bloody Haar and her dread captain
    Cults and Curse of ancient times
    Sails the Bloody Haar and her dread captain

    He’ll take your silver, gold, n’ magic things
    If you get in his way, you’ll be a blood stain
    from the isle of Haht to the great Port Shaw
    Ruthless Jack’s will plunder them all

    Rum and gold and a wind steady
    Sails the Bloody Haar and her dread captain
    Treasure or tempest upon the sea
    Sails the Bloody Haar and her dread captain

    The Bloody Haar is a two masted schooner, with a red stripe running the length of her black hull. Her sails are a sun and salt faded scarlet, and she flies a pitch black pennant. While a relatively small ship, she’s one of the nimblest and fastest that prowls the Razor Coast.

    The Bloody Haar’s crew consists of the following:
    SkarJak “Ruthless Jack” Urzok (Captain, Black Orc male fighter)
    Lady d’Rath (1st Officer, blond human female fighter)
    Masked Mage (quartermaster, ??)
    Reed & Finnan (riggers and knifers, halfling brothers)
    4-8 other pirates (Crew, varies – orcs and humans)

    Prior to a raid, the Masked Mage will wreath the area in fog, allowing the Blood Haar to close upon her prey unseen. The rest of the crew will then board their target, eliminating any resistance with extreme prejudice, but not needlessly slaughtering anyone who doesn't get in their way. Their goal is always the loot.

    “Ruthless Jack” is a large, broad shouldered bald orc with sun darkened olive green skin and a wiry black beard. He is covered with bright tattoos across his chest and down his arms, and fights with a magical harpoon in one hand, and a hand ax in the other. He’s been a pirate nearly his whole life, sailed the length and breadth of the Razor Coast, and when the Masked Mage offered him command of the Bloody Haar, he lept at the chance. The last 5 years have proven the wisdom of the Masked Mage’s choice.

    The Lady d’Rath was the 1st officer under the Bloody Haar’s previous captain, and was initially pissed that the Masked Mage passed her up for the position. SkarJak’s success only infuriated her more. Eventually she challenged him to a duel, and lost, though it was a close thing. SkarJak asked her to remain on the ship as his first officer. Their relationship remains tense.

    The Masked Mage is an unknown to all. Clad from head to toe in flowing embroidered robes, with an elaborate facemask that lacks any holes, his voice is low and raspy. Over his robes he wears The Medallion of the 9 Winds, the item which allows him to both call forth the fog, but also to influence the wind, further assisting the Bloody Haar in being one of the fastest vessels upon the sea.

12. I'm going cheap on this, sorry. But I shouldn't even be on the computer right now. But the ship would be the Blue Blaze and the captain would be Buckaroo Banzai, just imagine the crew. It'd be awesome. Go see Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension if you don't know what I't taking about. I hope I win by random chance.

13. https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B81qk1TMOx8tMDMtajB3THJsWm8/edit?usp=sharing

14. The Ship: The One Eye'd Jack
    The Captain: "Smiling" Jack Spade

    Johnathan "Handsome Jack" Spade was a wealthy merchantman who had a small fleet of ships. He made a small fortune trading goods. He was well known for his good humor, wide smile, and good looks.

    He was engaged to the Amelia DuChamp, daughter of an influential noble. It seemed he lived a charmed life. Jack Spade had many friends, but he also had enemies. Bill Hicks was Jack's best friend. Since childhood, Bill and Jack had been close, and Jack bade Bill his First Officer aboard his ship The Morning Star. But Bill was a rival for Amelia's affection, and jealous of Jack's successes. Bill conspired with one of Jack's rivals, Gerwin Blanc of the White Line merchant company. With Bill's help, Gerwin arranged to have his men replace the crew of the Morning Star. Then, a month before Jack's wedding, while at sea, the crew mutinied. Bill unleashed a lifetime of pent up rage on his former friend. He mutilated Jack's face, scaring his once handsome features by carving a wicked grin from ear to ear. He then threw Jack overboard, content to let the sharks have him.

    Bill returned to port with the sad story of how Jack suddenly took ill and died. Fearing plague, the crew buried him at sea. Bill took over Jack's fleet, and sold them to the White Line. He married Amelia and retired from shipping, content in his belief that well fed sharks covered all trace of his crime.

    Unknown to him, the sharks that day were doomed to remain hungry. Jack did survive. He showed up at his home one evening, three years later. Disheveled and half mad. At the sight of him, his beloved Amelia screamed and summoned the guard. She didn't recognize the scarred madman and thought him an intruder. Jack shed all pretense of sanity, slew the guards, Amelia, and everyone in his home. By chance Bill was not at home that night, and in the morning when he learned of what had happened, he knew it had been Jack who did the deed.

    Jack had been rescued by pirates, and forced into service. Driven by a desire for revenge and a longing to find his lost love, Jack remained with the pirates, at first as a prisoner, then as a crewman, eventually becoming Captain of his own ship, the One Eye'd Jack. He is now known as Smiling Jack, and he hunts ships of the White Line with a vicious savagery and a cunning never before seen. He also searches for Bill Hicks, who has gone into hiding since Jack's return. Along the way Smiling Jack has amassed a fortune in plunder, which he spends freely to curry favors, bribe officials, and keep his crew loyal and well armed.

    Ho ho ho
    He he he
    Ol' Bill Hicks did flee
    With Smilin' Jack at his back
    He runs from sea to sea.

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